Closing the Gap
by nightrobin2424
Summary: Nick left Vegas five years ago and now that's he's back he finds everything has changed, can he get back what he lost or is it too late? NickGreg slash


_A/N: Bold and italized are flashbacks so anyone doesn't get confused and the song used is Unlove You bye Ashley Tisdale. And I do not own CSI or this song, enjoy!_

**_"Can you feel it Nick?"_**

_**"Feel What Greg?"**_

_**"This." Greg said as he took Nick's hand in his and placed it on his chest. "My heart, this is what love truly feels like." Nick felt his eyes mist over loving when Greg got romantic like this. "Do you believe?"**_

**_"I believe in you." Nick whispered as their lips met._**

_

* * *

_

_I fell in a perfect way_

_Never had a choice to make_

_Crashed into your tidal wave_

_Sailed right through your atmosphere_

_Closed my eyes and landed there_

_Didn't see the trouble_

_And I didn't care_

Nick Stokes sighed as he pulled his rental car into the parking space. He couldn't believe he had come back, five years and he was back in the city of sin. He could see Warrick at the door, so he took a deep breath and went to confront his past.

"Man Nick it is so good to see you."

"You too Rick, damn good."

"You should have called more often, what brought you back?"

"I'm not quite ready to get into that yet." He said as he took a sip of his beer. "Tell me about work?"

"Well Ecklie finally left and Cath got the job."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she totally deserved it."

"I agree and you?"

"Dayshift supervisor."

"Dayshift?"

"I switched about six months after you left it was the only way to make my marriage work."

"Did it help?"

"Yeah here." He handed Nick a picture.

"Your son?"

"Yeah that's Jacob, he'll be two in June."

"I'm happy for you man."

"So Grissom finally retired."

"He did?"

"Well it was more like following Sara to Sanfransico."

"So the bug man finally owned up to his feelings."

"Yeah."

"So who's graveyard now?"

"Sofia came back, said she liked the puzzle, there's Ryan he was a transfer from Miami, Crystal she's the rookie and Greg of course." Nick swallowed at the mention of Greg's name, the man that had been in his every thought since he left.

"So he's doing good then?"

"Yeah he is, he's the shift supervisor."

"What?"

"Grissom picked Greg himself, he's changed Nick and he's good, he's the real reason Sofia came back."

"I'm proud for him."

"He wanted to call you, but he never did."

"I wanted to call him too." Nick admitted quietly.

"He was afraid Shelly would answer."  
"We divorced." He said bluntly.

"Huh?"

"It was working and then…then…I just…I didn't want to pretend anymore, pretend to be something I'm not, pretend that I was over Greg when in reality I'm not."

"Man Nicky I'm sorry."

"You haven't heard the worst of it yet." Nick sighed. "I wanted to be honest with her and well I had to fess up after she heard me moan Greg's name in my sleep."

"Damn…"

"Tell me about it, so I told her everything and she seemed ok so I went to work. When I got there it seemed like the entire Dallas PD knew and then my mom called crying. My dad even showed up at work and made a huge scene, needless to see they practically disowned me. And Shelly she took everything in the divorce, I have nothing this was the only place I could think to go."

"I knew she was a bitch Nicky, but man…"

"You think Cath will give me my job back?"

"No doubt about that, but graveyard is the only shift that needs another CSI."

"I can do it, I know I hurt him."

"Badly Nick, you didn't see him after you left he fell into a depression until we finally intervened, he never dates though Cath thinks he's channeling Grissom, he's damn good at what he does though."

"I don't doubt that, I always knew he was." Nick said softly. "I never meant to hurt him, I hurt myself too, to let go of something so special like we had."

"Are you going to try for another chance?"

"I don't think I have one, but being near him will be enough, just to see him."

* * *

"Nicky!" Catherine cried as she him walk into her office. "It's been too long."

"I know." He said as he hugged her. "Way too long."

"Warrick told me you were back, I was hoping you would come here."

"I couldn't stay away. Look at you miss assistant director, looks good on you."

"Don't it?" she grinned. "We've really missed you around here Nick."

"I've missed you too."

"I'll be happy to give you your job back, but will you be ok on grave with Greg?"

"I have to be, and from what I hear he's damn good at his job."

"He is, he really is you'd be amazed."

"He was always amazing to me Cath."

"I know." She said quietly. "When can you come back?"

"Tonight if possible."

"It is."

"And Cath?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell Greg yet, I just…"

"It's ok Nicky I know."

**_

* * *

_****_"What are you trying to tell me Nick?"_**

_**"Dammit Greg I'm in love with you, head over fucking heels even!"**_

_**"What?"**_

_**"Why is it so hard for you to understand that Greg?"**_

_**" Because it's you Nick, you got a hooker to sleep with you for free! All the females you've met fall all over themselves when they see you and you stand here and tell me you're in love with me, a guy."**_

_**"It doesn't matter, what matters is that it's you Greg. You amaze me, you made me fall in love with you."**_

_**"I'm nothing special Nick."**_

_**"You are to me." Nick whispered.**_

_**"Nick..."**_

_**"Just feel this Greg." And then Nick crushed their lips together and Greg lost himself in it.**_

"Greg!" Greg Sanders opened his eyes to see Catherine Willows hands on her hips staring at him.

"Sorry Cath I was dozing again."

"It's ok, listen I filled that CSI spot on your team."

"You did?"

"Yeah he'll be in tonight."

"Can I at least have his file?"

"I still need it for a few things, you'll get it though." And then she sauntered down the hallway. Great, he didn't even know this guy's name.

Greg rubbed his eyes as he grabbed his coffee mug and walked toward the break room. He heard a commotion and then Sofia lunge forward at figure he couldn't see yet.

"Nick! You're back!" Suddenly his heart stopped and his coffee mug slipped from his hand shattering all over the floor.

_I can't unlove you_

_Can't do that_

_Now matter how I try_

_I'll never turn my back on_

_Someone who loved me too_

_I can do most anything I have too_

_**"I'm leaving."  
"What?"**_

_**"Leaving Vegas."**_

_**"What about us Nick? I just made level 3 I can't leave."**_

_**"I know that." Nick whispered. **_

_**"So you were going to go anyway?"**_

_**"Yes I was."**_

_**"Why?"**_

_**"I can't stand Vegas anymore Greg."**_

_**"And me? What about us?"**_

_**"Let's face it Greg we're not normal."**_

_**"Not normal? Falling in love with you Nick is the most normal thing I have ever done."**_

_**"Greg…"**_

_**"But if you want to leave fine! Throw away everything we have fine!"**_

_**"Greg please, there really isn't any other choice."  
"Yes there is, stay here with me, be with me, just love me."**_

_**"I can't do that anymore Greg."**_

"Greg your mug." Greg shook his head and looked up at Sofia who was looking at him with concerned eyes.

"I'm ok really, I was hallucinating, I thought…" and then his words trailed off as he saw Nick approach him.

"Hi Greg."

"uh…Hi Nick." How could Nick always do this to him, make him act like a fool, make it though he hadn't been gone for the past five years.

"Listen Greg…"

"Look Nick." He said as he regained his composure. "I'm your boss and we've got cases I don't have time for small talk. Ryan take Nick and Crystal with you, and Sofia you're with me." And then he was off down the hall Sofia following quickly after him. Nick just stood there staring at Greg's retreating back, why did he ever think this would be easy?

Greg made it to the Denali before he broke down pounding his fist against the door.

"Dammit!"

"Greg please calm down."

"How can I Sofia when the one guy I can't get over just walked back into my life and now he's on my shift and I have to see him everyday."

"Maybe you should talk to him."

"I can't not now, maybe not ever."

"Greg you're his boss now you have to talk to him."

"I can be professional with him, but that's all he's getting from me."

"Greg…"

"End of discussion Sofia, we have a case."

"But Greg."

"End of discussion."

* * *

Ryan Wolfe wasn't sure what to think of this guy, sure he had heard a lot about Nick Stokes most of it not good. Greg really never talked about him, but when he did he was tight lipped but Ryan knew they had a history and that Greg wasn't over him. Crystal was sure laying it on thick though, and Ryan had to give Nick credit because he was paying no attention to her.

"She always like that?" Nick asked later as he and Ryan were walking toward the morgue later on.

"Yes, she's probably not going to like you now because you ignored her flirting."  
"She's not for me, there is only one person for me."

"Look Nick, Greg is my friend and I don't know the whole story of what happened but I do know that Greg can't take that again."

"I know and I don't expect another chance with him, just seeing him was enough."

"You really do love him don't you?"

"Yes I do." He whispered. "I never stopped."

_**Nick about dropped the phone bracing himself on chair when he heard Sara utter the word "Greg" and "hospital".**_

_**"Nicky are you ok?"**_

_**"Greg…I need to get to Greg."**_

_**"What?"**_

_**"He's been hurt, those beatings…he…Cath I need…"**_

_**"I know, we're going."**_

_**"Oh baby." Nick said as his voice cracked. He ran his fingers over Greg's bruised cheek.**_

_**"Nick?"**_

_**"I'm here baby…"**_

_**"You are." Greg whispered as he opened his good eye.**_

_**"You know I would be, God Greg I thought I'd lost you."**_

_**"All I could think about was never seeing you again." Greg choked out. "I can't live without you."**_

_**"I can't live without you either Greg, I don't want to."**_

_But this one thing _

_I cannot change_

_I almost kind of like the pain_

_Wear your tattoo like a stain_

_And it will take forever to fade away_

* * *

Nick opened his eyes wiping the tears from his face. He would never forget that day seeing Greg so battered and he felt ashamed because he had lied to Greg because he left. He needed Greg back in his life, but he knew it was a long shot because he knew he destroyed Greg and Greg wouldn't forgive him so easily. He closed his eyes and wished so bad things were different, wished Greg was home in his arms where he belonged.

Nick watched Greg walk into the lab looking perfect as always and his heart ached.

"You guys can't keep doing this."

"He's the one not talking to me Sofia."

"Do you blame him?"

"No I don't, I just…"

"Nick I don't think you understand the damage you did, how bad you hurt him."

"I never wanted hurt him."

"He loved you with his whole heart Nick."

"I was confused."

"That's no excuse Nick and you know it."

"I know, but all I want is just to be his friend, just to talk to him to hear his voice even if we never become lovers again he would still be in my life."

"You're telling the wrong person Nick."

"I know." He whispered. "I know."

* * *

"I can't believe you!" Greg hissed when he finally cornered Catherine in her office two days later. "No wonder you didn't want to give me that file."

"Greg he asked me not too."

"So you cater to him like he never left, like he's still part of the team well he's not, he fucking left and you of all people should have consulted me it's my shift and I have a say who is hired Catherine."

"He needed this job Greg, he lost everything."

"And I didn't? You know Catherine I lost everything too when he left I lost half my heart." Greg finished in a near so. "And now he's back and every time I look at him I'm reminded of what we had, what if feels like to be loved by him."

"Greg I'm sorry I know, but he's the best person for the job, even you know that. You're a good supervisor Greg I know you can do this."

"I can be professional Cath, I can do that but that's all I can be to him, that's all he deserves."

"Greg…"

"He'll get no second chance from me, never again."

**_"You really thought I forgot?" Nick asked as he reached out to touch Greg's cheek brushing away a stray tear. "How could I have forgotten the best thing that ever happened to me?" _**

_**"I really thought you did." Greg sniffled. **_

_**"I could never forget the day we finally got our acts together." Nick whispered before their lips met. "That's why I got this." Greg felt the cool metal slip onto his finger and his eyes widened as he saw the ring.**_

_**"Nick…"**_

_**"I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me. I'll always love you." Greg felt the tears start to build up as he looked into Nick's eyes.**_

_**"God Nick I love you too, my gift isn't as good as this."**_

_**"You're the only thing I need Greg." And that was all that needed to be said as they let their actions say the rest.**_

Greg kept the ring hidden away in the bottom of his dresser drawer underneath the sweatshirt he never gave back to Nick. Sometimes he would take it out and he would read the inscription over and over _you have my heart._ Greg wished that was still true. He couldn't bring himself to get rid of the ring and he could never exactly figure out why. He closed his eyes wiping at the tears he didn't remember shedding as he put the ring back in it's hiding spot. He fingered the sweatshirt and then slipped it over his head. Although it had been washed several times he could still smell Nick on it. He crawled into his bed breathing in the scent that was all Nick Stokes. And for the first time in a long time Greg Sanders cried himself to sleep.

* * *

Nick found himself at one of his old haunts drinking beer with Sofia and Ryan. Greg had been asked, but he had taken one look at Nick and flaked out claiming he had paperwork but Nick knew the truth.

"Nick it's not easy for him you know."

"I'm tired of being made into the bad guy."

"In our eyes you are." Sofia whispered. "You left him in pieces Nick, pieces."

**_Sara was the obvious choice of course she and Greg had become close and had that brother/sister kind of relationship. But Sara had been stuck out of town and Sofia knew Greg needed someone even if it wasn't Sara._**

_**"Curtis?"**_

_**"Sofia it's Sara, have you been to see him yet?"**_

_**"I'm on my way now Sara."**_

_**"I can't believe Nick did this to him I could just…"**_

_**"It's ok Sara."**_

_**"I wish I was there."**_

_**"I know, but I can hold the fort down until you are back."**_

_**"Take care of him Sofia, please."**_

_**"I will I promise." Sofia clicked her phone off and made her way to Greg's apartment.**_

**_"Greg it's Sofia please open up." She figured there would be no answer and she pulled out the key Sara had given her before she left. The apartment was dark and Sofia almost tripped on a lone beer bottle. "Greg?" There was no answer and she started to worry, hoping Greg hadn't done anything stupid. The apartment was a mess and Sofia could only imagine what kind of shape Greg was in. She heard a sound come from the living room and she made her way further into the darkness. "Greg?"_**

_**"Go away Sofia."**_

_**"Greg please…"  
"Sara send you?"**_

_**"We're all worried."**_

_**"Nothing to worry about."**_

_**"You can't do this Greg throw away everything you worked for."**_

_**"But he can? He threw away everything, he threw away me." His voice cracked and he took a long swig of his beer. "I was so stupid to believe anything he told me, it's like the past three years meant nothing to him all those promises, that ring it was all a lie." Sofia stepped closer to him and took the bottle from his hand.**_

_**"Don't let it destroy you Greg, he left but you're still here."**_

_**"You know what the worst part is?" he laughed bitterly. "I still love him."**_

"I never wanted this." Nick choked back a sob. "I never wanted Greg and I to be this…strangers."

"Then why did you do it Nick?"

"Because I thought pleasing my family was the only choice I had, I was wrong because Greg was the only choice I needed."

"Look Nick." Ryan interjected. "I may have not been around when this all happened, but the Greg I know is man a who hides himself in his work and that is not the Greg I've heard stories about, the Greg who kept the lab in hysterics."

"The Greg I fell in love with." Nick whispered. "I miss him."

"You've got a long way to go Nick if you ever want him back."

"Do I even have a chance?"

"Honestly?"

"I don't want to be lied to."

"He's been nursing a broken heart for the past five years I don't think he'll let anyone in again."

"I broke him didn't I?"

"Yes you did."

"I broke myself too, leaving him, living a lie pretending to be someone I'm not just to please my family."

"You have to be true to yourself Nick."

"I know and I wasn't and now I have nothing."

**_

* * *

_****_"So you don't want to be seen with me is that it?"_**

_**"Greg baby it's not like that…"**_

_**"Then why can't we go together?"**_

_**"I'm not ready for that step yet."**_

_**"It's been two years!"**_

_**"I'm not like you Greg, sometimes I wish I was, but I can't be."**_

_**"You think our coworkers will care? I know they won't."**_

_**"Greg please…"**_

_**"Fine Nick, I'll see you later, buddy." He sneered. Nick flinched when Greg slammed the door.**_

_**Nick had to admit it was a nice gathering but he couldn't keep his eyes off Greg who looked sleek and sexy in a dark suit. Currently his boyfriend (at least he hoped Greg still was) was dancing with Sara sweeping her around the dance floor. He felt a sudden wave of jealousy streak through him, but he crushed it because really it was his own fault. He could have had that, had Greg to himself all night if only he hadn't been a wuss.**_

_**"Nick just go." Nick looked up to see Catherine smiling at him.**_

_**"Go?"**_

_**"To him, it's ok Nick."**_

_**"You mean?"**_

_**"It wasn't that hard to figure out; you two are perfect for each other."**_

_**"Yeah we are."**_

**_"Then go sweep your boyfriend into your arms." Nick couldn't believe it, all along they knew. He watched Greg spin Sara one last time as the next song began to play. Nick took a deep breath and made his way to his lover._**

_**"Hey Sara mind if I cut in?" Sara looked at him and a huge grin split across her face.**_

_**"No I don't mind at all."**_

_**"Nick what are you doing?"**_

_**"Something I should have done last night." And then he swept Greg up into a long kiss.**_

_**"Nick…"**_

_**"I love you Greg and I should have listened to you."**_

_**"It's ok." Greg smiled softly. "I love you too, just hold me close and never let go."**_

_**"That I can do." And then pulled him close letting Greg rest his head on his shoulder. It really was the perfect moment.**_

Nick pushed himself blearily into his small apartment tired and dizzy from the many beers he had consumed. The apartment was cold and drafty and he felt so alone. He longed for companionship, he longed for Greg. He shook his head and grabbed a beer from his fridge at least he could drink away the pain.

_There's always time for other dreams_

_Why must we erase these things_

**_

* * *

_****_Greg hardly recognized himself and he had been avoiding this moment since he got out of the hospital, looking in the mirror, looking at his face. He didn't understand why Nick could still look at him, look at his battered face. His left eye could still barely even open and there was a bare patch where his hair used to be the only thing visible were the stitches._**

_**"Greg? Where are you?"**_

_**"In the bed room." Nick found his lover staring in the mirror and he frowned.**_

_**"Greg?"**_

_**"How can you still look at me like this?"**_

**_"Oh Greg." Nick said as he walked up behind him wrapping his arms around Greg's waist. "You're beautiful to me."_**

_**"I can't even stand to look at me."**_

_**"Greg." Nick whispered as he turned Greg around to face him. He ran his hand along Greg's bruised cheek. "You don't know how frightened I was when I got that call, I thought I lost you, it seemed like my whole word stopped."**_

_**"But I killed someone."**_

_**"It was self defense baby; we'll get through this I promise."**_

_**"You still love me?"**_

_**"I'll always love you Greg." And then Nick leaned in and kissed Greg's lips softly. "Don't doubt it."**_

_**"I'm so lucky Nick, so lucky to have you."**_

_**"You have it all wrong Greg." Nick said as he kissed Greg's forehead. "I'm the lucky one."**_

"Greg?" Greg opened his eyes to find Sofia looking at him her brow furrowed.

"What?"

"We got cases tonight or what?"

"Oh right." He shook his head ridding himself of painful memories. "You take Nick and tell Ryan he's with Crystal."

"You going alone tonight?"

"Yeah, need to clear my head."

"Are you ok?"

"I am." Sofia didn't look convinced. "I'm fine believe me."

"If you say do." She shrugged.

To his knowledge the house was suppose to be clear, the victim was found on the kitchen floor shot several times but the fatal blow was delivered right to her temple. Brass had gone to question the neighbor and one uniform remained outside. He had done this walk many times before, but somehow this time felt wrong. He followed his instincts through the house coming to stand in front of the hall closet. He knew he should have waited until Brass came in, but he drew his gun and opened the door. The little girl stared at him with wide blue eyes.

"It's ok honey." He whispered. "I'm here to help you." But she shook her head frantically as he reached out his hand. He probably should have seen it coming, but he heard the shot before he felt rip through the flesh of his shoulder. He stumbled backwards as a figure lunged out, the little girl's scream echoing throughout the house. He shook his head as he felt the dizziness of the blood loss, but his eyes focused on the suspect and the little girl. The girl was crying as the man held her at gunpoint.

"Look man…" Greg started. "Just put the gun down and let her go." He could see his own blood dripping to the floor, but he held on there was an innocent life at stake.

"I don't think so man; this right here is my insurance." The little girl flinched as his grip tightened.

"You don't want to hurt her."

"You don't leave me to my business and I will hurt her." Greg was beginning to panic he needed to get that girl away from the man, his own life be dammed. He could see the suspect was beginning to lose his cool and Greg had to take the opportunity.

"LVPD! Drop the gun!" The man turned at Brass's voice and Greg lunged knocking the man down as the little girl broke free. The shot went off ringing in his ears, he felt himself fall back his eyes rolling back into his head as another shot was fired.

**_Greg started to stir slightly feeling eyes on him._**

_**"Nick? What's wrong?"**_

_**"Nothing." Nick said with a sleepy smile kissing Greg's lips softly. "Just admiring."**_

_**"Nothing to admire."**_

_**"Of course there is, you."**_

_**"Nick…" Greg blushed. "I'm nothing special."**_

_**"Of course you are." Nick said as he ran his hands over Greg's lithe body.**_

_**"The things you do to me Nick Stokes." Greg sighed happily. "No wonder I love you." Suddenly there was silence as Greg clamped a hand over his mouth. Neither had ever said those words yet and Greg was afraid he just blew it.**_

_**"Greg?"**_

_**"Yes Nick?"**_

_**"I love you too." Greg let out a choked sob as he crushed his lips to Nicks in a desperate kiss. **_

_**"I'll remember this moment always Nick."**_

_**"Me too Greg." Nick said as he twined their hands together. "Me too."**_

* * *

Nick had this feeling, this horrible feeling something wasn't right, that something sickening was about to happen. He could hear Sofia's cell phone echoing even though she was on the other side of the crime scene. He still couldn't shake the feeling something was about to go terribly wrong. Suddenly he heard Sofia's strangled cry, he dropped his kit and quickly ran over to where she was at. He found her in tears, cell phone lying on the ground.

"Sofia? What's going on?"

"Nick…" she choked out. "It's Greg." He felt his heart plummet for the second time in his life at the mention of those words.

"What's happened to him? Tell me!"

"He was shot." Sofia cried. "Twice. Brass said it's critical and he's touch and go right now. He stopped breathing for five minutes Nicky."

"I need to go…I need to…" he stopped a lump forming in his throat.

"Nick…"

"I don't care about this scene, I need to go to Greg because I can't lose him…we may be strangers now I need to be with him." His voice was cracking and he could feel a wave of dizziness approaching. He barely noticed the Denali pull up, Catherine and Warrick jumping out.

"Nicky, Sofia come on we're going to the hospital."

"The scene?"

"I have two of my people on it." Warrick answered. "What matters now is Greg." Nick barely felt Warrick leading him to the car, the only thing on his mind was getting to Greg.

They found Brass in the waiting room pacing around quickly.

"Where is he?" Catherine asked causing the captain to pause.

"In surgery, they lost him again on the way here, that's twice…" even Brass was beginning to choke up thinking about what could happen. "Has uh…someone called Sara?"

"Warrick is." Sofia whispered, but her eyes wondered over to Nick who was remaining silent. "Nick?" But he didn't say anything just stared into blank space.

"Nicky…" Catherine said as she kneeled down in front of him. "Nicky please say something."

"I may never get to tell him I still love him, I may lose him and he'll never know." Nick sobbed covering his face with his hands. "I can't stand losing him, he is my entire world."

"Nicky he's a fighter, he won't give up."

"Sara and Gris are on their way." Warrick said as he walked into the room. "I talked to Gris because as soon as I told her she broke down."

"Greg is special to all of us." Sofia said with a quiver in her voice. Nick didn't want to believe any of this was happening, that Greg could be gone and they would never get another chance again.

"Are you all here for Greg Sanders?"

"Yes we are, please doctor tell us how is his condition?"

"We managed to remove the bullet, but he slipped into a coma. His chances of waking up are slim." A collective silence fell across the room and Nick felt his entire world slipping away.

"So he could remain comatose forever?"

"It's up to him now."

"Can we see him?"

"One at a time please."

"Please let me go first." Everyone turned to Nick, not one person argued as he got up to follow the doctor.

Nick felt his chest constrict as he was led into Greg's room, he felt the bile rise up seeing Greg hooked up to a breathing tube in a deep sleep where he had minimal chance of escaping from. He couldn't go through this again, coming so close to losing the one thing that mattered most to him, even if he didn't have it anymore. Slowly he walked over to the bed pulling a chair close to it. He reached out to take Greg's hand caressing it softly.

"I don't know if you can hear me but I want you to know I never stopped loving you not once and God… if only I could turn back time I never would have made the biggest mistake of my life, I know you're in there Greg, you have to wake up for me please." He squeezed his eyes shut as the tears fell to his cheeks. "Please don't let go Greg, not yet."

_I can't unlove you_

_Can't do that_

_Now matter how I try_

_I'll never turn my back on_

_Someone who loved me too_

_I can do most anything I have too_

**_

* * *

_****_Greg couldn't remember the last time he felt this alive, the last time he actually camped outside. He never really thought there would be a good reason to lie on the hard ground and stare into the endless sky that is until he started dating Nick. The first time was in Nick's backyard on blanket, well until it started to rain and they had to retreat inside cuddling in front of Nick's fireplace, Greg liked that part the most. And now Nick had managed to swing them the weekend off and had drug them to his favorite spot in the middle of nowhere roughing for it for night. He had never felt more at peace then right now lying in Nick's arms next to a roaring fire._**

_**"What are you thinking about?"**_

_**"Just how perfect this is."**_

_**"It is perfect isn't it?" Nick mused kissing Greg's forehead softly. "Just me and you, no one to distract us."**_

_**"We should do this more often."**_

_**"I agree." Nick sighed as leaned over to brush his lips against Gregs meaning for it to be just a soft kiss but Greg had other plans as he flipped Nick to his back pushing him into the dirt.**_

_**"I've always wanted to get down and dirty, how about you Nick? You want that too Nick?" Greg asked thrusting his hips against Nicks causing him to moan.**_

_**"You know me too well G." he panted pulling Greg to him for another desperate kiss.**_

_**"Well then I say we get down to business." And then in one swift motion he had Nick's shirt off sucking at his neck as Nick reached for Greg's shirt. "Best idea ever Nicky."**_

_**"Oh hell yeah," And then Nick lost all conscious thought as he let Greg have his way.**_

"Nick?" Nick opened his eyes, Sara Sidle coming into focus.

"Sara?"

"You're lucky we're in the hospital or you'd have a black eye right now."

"I deserve it."

"Yes you do." She said her eyes falling onto Greg. "I think you should leave now Nick."

"Ok Sara." Nick said quietly.

"We're not done discussing this though Nick."

"I know that." He sighed and made his way to the door. He watched as Sara took Greg's hand in hers just before she broke down into heavy sobs.

"No black eye?"

"Not yet." Nick said as he came face to face with Gil Grissom. "It's coming I know it."

"Why did you do it Nick?"

"Trying to please everyone else but myself."

"It's your own life you should yourself not others."

"I know that now Gris…if I lose him now…"

"It's hard to face isn't it?"

"Face what?" Nick asked as he turned his watery gaze toward Grissom.

"The prospect of losing your soul mate."

"You think it's possible for Greg and I to be soul mates even after all that has happened?"

"Over the years Nick I may have not seemed very in tune with any emotion but I saw it back then and I see it now certain people are made for each other, you and Greg fit together."

"I ruined everything though, destroyed it."

"The thing about soul mates is Nick no matter what may happen they will always find their way back to each other."

"You think that's true even for us?"

"I believe it is Nick, I believe it is."

**_

* * *

_****_Sara opened the door to reveal a catastrophe that resembled Greg_**

_**Sanders, although barely.**_

"_**Greg?"**_

**_"Sara…" It certainly sounded like the Greg she knew, but it didn't_**

**_look like him. His clothes barely matched, his hair was all over the place,_**

_**and his eyes were so red she wondered how he could see.**_

_**"Greg what's going on?"**_

_**"It's Nick, he left…he left me…"**_

_**"What?"**_

_**"He's leaving me…oh God Sara." He crumbled into her arms as the**_

_**words spilled out of his mouth.**_

_**"Greg are you sure? There has to be a misunderstanding…"**_

**_"His things are gone; he told me he was leaving but I didn't want to believe it. He didn't even say goodbye just left to go be _**_**son his family always wanted."**_

_**"That doesn't sound like Nick."**_

**_"He's been like this since he came back from his family reunion and decided I wasn't what he wanted, that we weren't normal."_**

_**"Oh Greg…"**_

_**"I didn't know where else to go."**_

_**"You came to the right place Greg." Sara whispered.**_

_**"I thought he loved me now I know it was all a fucking lie!" he **__**sobbed.**_

_**"It's going to be ok Greg."**_

_**"No it's not; it never will be again not without him."**_

Sara let her fingers brush over Greg's messy hair wishing his playful brown eyes were staring up at her.

"Oh Greg why do you always do this to me? Make me so scared, I can't lose you Greg you're the family I never had, please don't let go."

"Miss? I'm sorry visiting hours are over." Sara looked up to find the kindly old nurse smiling softly at her.

"Oh I didn't realize how late it was."

"It's ok honey, I faith in this one."

"Me too." Sara said as she stroked his cheek. "Me too."

* * *

Sara found only Grissom and Nick left in the waiting room, Nick was twisting his hands nervously.

"You deserve me to slap you Nicholas Stokes."

"I do."

"But Greg wouldn't want that, I can't say that I'm happy to see you. I just want to understand why."

"I was something I thought I had to do to please my family, but all along I was happy and I only needed to please myself, Greg was everything and I threw it away."

"I don't want to hate you Nick."

"I hate me." Nick whispered. "I just…I just need him to make it."

"We all need him to make it." Sara replied quietly. It was true they all needed Greg in one way or another, and it would be hard to face the prospect of watching him slip away.

Two weeks later and the doctors were beginning to lose hope, but Nick didn't want to believe it. He had faith in Greg, faith that he would make his way out of the darkness that had consumed him.

"I bet you're tired of hearing me talk, I know you can't stand to even be on a case with me now you'd hate that it was just me and you here now. I wish you'd wake up so you can tell me that." He reached out to take Greg's still hand in his. "There are so many things I need to say to you Greg and I know words can never fix how much I hurt, nothing can ever fix that and I know I won't get a second chance from you, but you've always been in my heart Greg." He sucked in a breath as he felt tears form in his eyes. "I just need you to wake up Greg, to see those eyes it's not your time to let go yet." He knew it was the nearing the end that doctors were only holding off because Sara begged them to just give Greg time, that he could beat this. Now though even Sara was beginning to lose hope, but Nick would never give up he knew Greg was strong, Greg could overcome this. He pulled his hand from Gregs to wipe at his eyes when he heard it.

"Nick…" It was faint; nearly a whisper but Nick knew that voice.

"Greg? Greg come on baby open those eyes for me."

"Nick…"

"I'm right here, it's ok you're safe now." He reached out his hand for Greg to grasp as his eyes slowly opened. When Greg's lips formed a soft smile Nick let out a choked sob causing Greg reach up and touch his face.

"It's ok Nick." And it really was because that slight touch was enough to reassure Nick that a new beginning was coming.

* * *

Five weeks later

Greg had only been out of the hospital for a week and Nick had been reluctant to visit him, tagging along behind Sofia and Ryan. He and Greg hadn't been alone since the day he woke up and Nick wasn't sure what to think because even when the doctors had come in Greg would not let go of his hand. Now though Nick didn't know what to do and he didn't want to have false hope, Greg could have been delirious and Nick was the only person there for him to have reached out to. But Nick hoped that Greg was meaning something more, a second chance that Nick didn't deserve. So now here he was standing in front of Greg's door and about to lose his nerve. He could do this; really he had to this because he had to know, had to know if there was hope. Slowly he reached out to tap the door taking a deep breath. Greg opened it before he had to knock twice looking worn out but absolutely beautiful.

"Nick…." It came out softly and maybe even with a hint of a smile.

"Hi Greg." He was twitching and he knew it, but Greg welcomed him in and maybe things were going to be ok.

"I'm glad you came by."

"Really?"

"Really Nick." And this time his smile was sincere and Nick knew that smile, the Greg smile he fell in love with so long ago. "I think it's time we talked."

"I think so."

"There are things I wanted to say to you when you first came back, hurtful things because I wanted you to hurt like I did….but now I don't want to say those things anymore Nick."

"What things do you want to say Greg?"

"You killed me when you left, I thought we had everything we ever needed in each other and it hurt me to think you had live a lie just to please your family, but eventually I moved on but you never left my thoughts Nick and when you came back I just….I want to hate you Nick I want to scream at you and tell you I never want to see you again…"

"You should want to do that."

"But I can't, not after…." He paused his eyes seeking Nicks he found nothing but what he use to see in them, love. "We can't pick up where we left off Nick, but I can't not have you in my life either."

"So what are you saying Greg?"

"I want a new beginning for us, a fresh start, I want to get to know you all over again, I want to remember why I fell in love with you in first place. It will take me a long time to trust you again, but I'm willing and please God tell me you are too."

"Oh baby you don't have to ask twice." And then space was closed and Greg was in Nick's arms clinging on for dear life afraid he would slip away again.

"I always kept you in my heart Nick."

"I kept you in mine too Greg." No more words were spoken as their lips met in a bruising kiss of passion that made up for past five years of being apart.

"This won't be easy Nick we have a long way to go to get back to where we were." Greg said as they broke away from the kiss.

"You're worth it Greg I don't care whatever I have do I'll do because I'm not losing you again, this is real and this is where I always belonged. I'm sorry it took hurting you for me to figure it out."

"We're here now Nicky." Greg whispered twining their hands together.

"We are." Nick said just before their lips met again. He knew everything still wasn't perfect, but he knew they would get there because like Grissom said soul mates always found their way back to each other.

End


End file.
